As the chorus of "He's coming home, he's coming home, he's coming...Rooney's coming home" gets loud enough to drown out the Uwe Seelers, as, thanks to Danny Baker, vuvuzelas are now properly known (and if you're the twat who was blowing one in Norwich market place yesterday, a pox on you), we at the Idents World Cup alone give hope. Yes, like the old Home Internationals, it's a contest where the trophy's guaranteed to stay in the British Isles. And so we move swiftly to the Tony Curriedrome in Glesga for the Group C results.
Southern star 2 LWT river 11
LWT river 12 BBC1 COW 1
BBC1 COW 4 TSW tree of bras 9
TSW tree of bras 4 LWT river 9
Southern star 3 TSW tree of bras 10
BBC1 COW 8 Southern star 4
An unsurprising clean sweep for the LWT river, but a sharp intake of breath for number 2. I was quietly expecting the bucolic lilt of Steve Race's jingle to bring home the locally-produced, farm-assured bacon for Jack Hargreaves' Out of Towners, but the sheer barking majesty of TSW's tree of bras nabbed it 2nd place. Sadly, the BBC1 COW (computer-originated world) didn't induce the same "HOLY FUCK IT'S COMPUTERS!" frenzy in everyone that it generated in Mr Nesmith, but BBC1 has another bite at the cherry with the 1981-1985 mirror globe. And shame on you Kecske Bak for suggesting that the BBC COW is now known as Jana Bennett, although the utterly true story of her having to ask directions to TC4 after God knows how many years with the Corporation makes me sympathetic to your cause. And so to Group D. Pick the winners from these stand-offs:
BBC2 stripey vs BBC tv map
BBC tv map vs Channel 4 original
Channel 4 original vs Rediffusion London
Rediffusion London vs BBC tv map
BBC2 stripey vs Channel 4 original
Rediffusion London vs BBC2 stripey
As I have been unable to find a decent copy of the Rediffusion London ident on YouTube, most of them being from multi-multi-gen VHS or terrible mocks by 12-year-old windowlickers, I've taken the liberty of encoding and uploading a recreation of a full Rediffusion startup, made by Kecske Bak and Rory Clark of Farcical Films, who are the Morecambe and Wise, nay the Rolls and Royce, to say nothing of the Dandelion and Burdock of archive TV graphics research. Get your votes in by 6pm, Sunday 20 June.