Friday, March 28, 2008

Being a freelance type, I know far too much about daytime television. I hate most of it and the personalities involved. If Lorne Spicer ever turned up on my doorstep asking to see what I've got in my attic, I'd show her the redundant and very heavy Sony Betamax machine that lives up there by dropping it on her head.

I thought Trisha Goddard was the worst person ever to appear on television, but then along comes Jeremy Kyle to set the bar so low that a rattlesnake couldn't limbo-dance under it. 'Jezza' is very fond of telling the malcontents and, let's not mince words, attention-seeking scum appearing on his show, that their behaviour would be unacceptable "where I come from". Wherever it is, I wish he'd fuck off back there. And don't get me started on the Cuprinol-dipped wide boy that is David 'the Dame' Dickinson.

Despite all of this, I find it impossible to dislike Bargain Hunt's bow-tied presenter Tim Wonnacott. I don't make an appointment to view the show, but equally, if it's on, I don't throw macaroons at the screen. My lack of distaste for Wonnacott - who is, after all, just Dickinson with A levels - baffled me utterly until the other morning when the penny dropped. He is Basil Brush. Mode of dress, gap in front teeth, Terry-Thomas voice, all present and correct. And, of course, almost everyone loves Basil Brush.

UPDATE - 24/4/2008: the Betamax machine mentioned in this posting has now been disposed of at the Lowestoft recycling centre. Dropping it, and the remains of my two previous PCs, from a height of 15 feet onto a concrete floor was immensely satisfying. No flowers.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I saw a poster for a Pink Floyd tribute band earlier today, which bore a hell of an endorsement. "Possibly the best concert experience you will ever have", it said. Who was responsible for this encomium? According to the poster, it was "The BBC". Did the Corporation have a representative poll of its staff from the DG downwards, or are the band's management parlaying up a doubtless heartfelt tribute from a Radio Shropshire work experience student? I think we should be told.