Sunday, April 24, 2011

Calling at Superin Junction, Gagging Order Halt...

Forget your Twitters. Cheeseford is the home of the real news about this 'superinjunction' shizzle that's going down in the high courts, with the A-listers all enlisting their learned friends to keep uncomfortable details of their private lives out of the red-top blatts. As I have an exemption from prosecution for defamation that I bought out of the back pages of Health and Efficiency for a tenner, I can blow the lid off. That's enough about my flatulence, though. Here's what the big names don't want you to know:

  • T*d Rogers was f***ing D*sty B*n.
  • L**d C***les went off the rails after the death of R*y Al*n, and began pimping T*ch and Qu*ckers in a M*yfair fl*t to feed his gin and quaalude habit.
  • The B*C N******n D***e O******ra and the D******m G*rl P*pers - the details are too sordid even for this blog.
  • Ch*rlton, with numerous Wh**lies, in his dressing room at C*sgrove-H*ll.
  • That take 1 of the H*rry W*rth opening titles featured the comedian doing the wind*w trick st*rk b*ll*ck n*ked.
  • The identity of the illegitimate offspring of the Y*rkshire T*levision ch*vr*n and the B*rder ch*psticks.
  • B*lly D*inty and B*tty the T*a L*dy - Let's just say that I'll never watch EBC1 in the same way again.
  • Al* B*ngo - the unconventional way in which he made things disappear, the cheeky scamp.
More as we have it. Cheeseford will not be cowed or silenced.


Westengland said...

But do *you* want the web world to know that way back on Adam Macqueen's blog you suggested that Tweeting and cuntdom were inextricably linked ( a suggestion with which I agreed, at the time)?

I shal have to, er , tweet, about this - especially as somebody called "LFBarfe" is currently tweeting like an onanistic teenager (who does he think he is - Ben Goldacre?).

Louis Barfe said...

A chap is allowed to change his mind.

office pest said...

the "what" girl with the Northern Dance Orchestra? More letters please LFB.

Thank fuck I don't have anything to do with witter. Just one blog post is too much working out for me.

Westengland said...

@ office pest

"Dagenham Girl Pipers" - he just doesn't *know*, does he, LFB?

(An internet Search will reveal all, OP).

Louis Barfe said...

OP 'knows' all too well, as he was there on that terrible night. He thinks that by playing innocent his involvement will pass unremarked. Nice try, Mr Pest.

office pest said...

The part where the 'Conductor' and the 'Lead Girl' confused their baton ends may have been the worst moment of all, I hear tell.

Anonymous said...

Thank God you didn't give away the real reason why, thanks to D***k B**e*, the original soundproof booth on *r **d M** had to be incinerated.

Thanks for the H*rry W*rth mental image, by the way. You **n*.

Louis Barfe said...

D***k B**e* wasn't entirely to blame. S*s*n Cu** was partially responsible. They had similar trouble at H*V with Si*n a Si*n.

office pest said...

I'm surprised you haven't mentioned Hug*** G***n with *ob*y C*us* on O****tuni** K*ocks