Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Are Michael Jackson fans the most unhinged followers of any pop culture icon? Yes, if some of the comments on YouTube concerning Jacko's run-in with the mighty Jarvis Cocker are anything to go by.

"Jarvis Cocker you are only a poor idiot.
it was better that you died.
M.J. THE KING"

Ah, but Jarvis Cocker hasn't died. Thus he wins.

"Jarvis Cocker youre a fucking twat. Don´t try to steal the KING Michael´s shine. Don´t need to know who he is, any money he has listened to Thriller one time or another and enjoyed it and that goes for anyone of you Michael Jackson haters. 110 million people can´t be wrong."

Ah, the 'if a lot of people agree on something it must be right' fallacy. Cobblers. Also, you can enjoy Thriller (although Off the Wall is a far superior album) and still think that the Brits performance of 'Earth Song' was an over-blown, self-aggrandising pile of cack.

"He told a story in that song a story that is in fact a reality of how fucked up the world actually is.

He at least tried to bring to the attention of us what was actually happening in the world.

On that note jarvis if you ever have the misfortune to meet me you will regret it. You jelous commercial fame seeking cunt.

Be warned the next time your in London keep your eyes open. "

Jarvis Cocker is well known for walking around central London with his eyes firmly closed, so the above advice will be a welcome wake-up call to the erstwhile Pulp frontman. Let's not dwell on the unpleasantness of the threat. It's easy to be a bullying fuckwit when you're sat at a keyboard, hiding behind a made-up username. The likelihood of this numpty ever getting to duke it out with Cocker is so small as to not even register.

The message, such as it is, of 'Earth Song' (and I think it's unbearably trite, twee and obvious, if well-meaning) is one thing. Appearing to think you're Jesus is another. Oh, and how can "commercial" be used as an insult when you're defending one of the most commercially successful and shrewd artists in the history of popular music? I can't believe either that Jacko's record sales didn't get a welcome boost from the coverage of this little fracas. The performance would have got a few headlines in its own right, because of the 'Jackson with ver kids' angle, but nowhere near as many as it got.

To close, my personal favourites:

"so, ho w is coocker?
ah the guy that invedes this performance...
oh great.

and who is michael jackson?

th king of pop...

poor coocker...."

and

"jarvis is a dick rider thats about the only talent he has as he even begged lil wayne and akon to ride there dicks.Thats why is last name is cocker lol.Jarvis is the king of dick riding and if u like him that means your a dick rider."

Well, that's him told...

9 comments:

JM said...

My favourite Jackson related comment came from a friend of mine, so I can't claim any credit for it.

"Hearty congratulations to Paul McCartney, as the girl is now his by default..."

Five-Centres said...

We've got one in our office. He's just jetted off to the funeral. Freak!

Matthew Rudd said...

I remember when Jarvis was released by the police - there were more adolescent Jackson vitriolists present than there were press.

Prats. Days like these make me grateful for Littlejohn.

Brian Rowland said...

The head of Sony UK, Paul Russell, happened to be Chair of the Brits in 1996, wasn't he? The Geldof intro to the Earth Song performance was, if anything, even more ghastly.

Cocker was happy to go on the record as saying how much he liked some of Jackson's records anyway. But he was careful to choose the good ones, not for instance Earth Song.

Robin Carmody said...

Neil Kulkarni in Melody Maker said he thought Jarvis did it *because* he'd loved what MJ had been and hated what he'd become. He may well have been right.

Apres la Guerre said...

"Earth Song" (assuming I'm thinking of the correct piece of trite bilge - Jackson recorded so much of it) was parodied to perfection by Vic and Bob on the "Shooting Stars" game CD.

"WHAT ABOUT CHICKENS?"
"WAAAAAAAHH!!!"

Tim said...

Did William Shatner ever record a Michael Jackson song? I don't think so!

B said...

Was reading them myself there a few days ago, knew they'd be funny.
When did he stop being Prince and become King?
...and usen't that video be deleted from youtube regularly though?

Stephen Evens said...

Jarvis Cocker? Dick Rider?

Someone call Stephen J. Cannell, there's a maverick detective series in there somewhere.