Group C results & Group D matches

As the chorus of "He's coming home, he's coming home, he's coming...Rooney's coming home" gets loud enough to drown out the Uwe Seelers, as, thanks to Danny Baker, vuvuzelas are now properly known (and if you're the twat who was blowing one in Norwich market place yesterday, a pox on you), we at the Idents World Cup alone give hope. Yes, like the old Home Internationals, it's a contest where the trophy's guaranteed to stay in the British Isles. And so we move swiftly to the Tony Curriedrome in Glesga for the Group C results.


Southern star 2 LWT river 11
LWT river 12 BBC1 COW 1
BBC1 COW 4 TSW tree of bras 9
TSW tree of bras 4 LWT river 9
Southern star 3 TSW tree of bras 10
BBC1 COW 8 Southern star 4

An unsurprising clean sweep for the LWT river, but a sharp intake of breath for number 2. I was quietly expecting the bucolic lilt of Steve Race's jingle to bring home the locally-produced, farm-assured bacon for Jack Hargreaves' Out of Towners, but the sheer barking majesty of TSW's tree of bras nabbed it 2nd place. Sadly, the BBC1 COW (computer-originated world) didn't induce the same "HOLY FUCK IT'S COMPUTERS!" frenzy in everyone that it generated in Mr Nesmith, but BBC1 has another bite at the cherry with the 1981-1985 mirror globe. And shame on you Kecske Bak for suggesting that the BBC COW is now known as Jana Bennett, although the utterly true story of her having to ask directions to TC4 after God knows how many years with the Corporation makes me sympathetic to your cause. And so to Group D. Pick the winners from these stand-offs:

BBC2 stripey vs BBC tv map
BBC tv map vs Channel 4 original
Channel 4 original vs Rediffusion London
Rediffusion London vs BBC tv map
BBC2 stripey vs Channel 4 original
Rediffusion London vs BBC2 stripey

As I have been unable to find a decent copy of the Rediffusion London ident on YouTube, most of them being from multi-multi-gen VHS or terrible mocks by 12-year-old windowlickers, I've taken the liberty of encoding and uploading a recreation of a full Rediffusion startup, made by Kecske Bak and Rory Clark of Farcical Films, who are the Morecambe and Wise, nay the Rolls and Royce, to say nothing of the Dandelion and Burdock of archive TV graphics research. Get your votes in by 6pm, Sunday 20 June.

Group B results and Group C matches

The engineers at London's busy Museum telephone exchange are giving the patch cords a last-minute check, and, any moment now, we should be going over to the Sylvia Peters Continuitydrome at Alexandra Palace for the results of the Group B fixtures in the Idents World Cup (guaranteed vuvuzela-free since last week). The scores on the doors, collated from votes here, on Twitter, on Facebook and on Cook'd and Bomb'd, are as follows:

Thames skyline 11 ABC triangle 2
ABC triangle 5 BBC Schools diamond 8
BBC Schools diamond 11 Ulster oscilloscope on a stick 2
Ulster oscilloscope on a stick 4 ABC triangle 9
BBC Schools diamond 4 Thames skyline 8
Ulster oscilloscope on a stick 2 Thames skyline 10

I make that 9 points for Thames, 6 points for the BBC Schools Diamond, 3 points for ABC and sod all for Ulster. As one commenter said, it may well be that Ulster wasn't fielding its best formation. Better luck in 2014, chaps. I must say that I'm surprised at the lack of love for the ABC chimes, but that's identball. So in Group B, it's a clear win for geography and geometry, and in the next stages it looks very much to me as if Thames will be playing Grampian, with the BBC Schools Diamond competing against Harlech.

This, however, is getting ahead of ourselves, and we must deal with the remaining group fixtures first. And so to Group C, which I believe to be a very strong combination of the iconic and the memorably strange. So, we're looking for scores in the following matches:

Southern star vs LWT river
LWT river vs BBC1 COW
BBC1 COW vs TSW tree of bras
TSW tree of bras vs LWT river
Southern star vs TSW tree of bras
BBC1 COW vs Southern star

While I have, in the interests of fair play, mostly kept ident clips to the bare minimum, I feel that the plucky Plymouth outsider's offering is best seen in the context of first few minutes of the station's gala opening show. Never before have leotards, blacksmithery and rapid-cut vision-mixing been combined to such devastating effect. And that's before you get to a studio full of TSW staffers in party hats being exhorted to enjoy themselves by Lennie 'TV's Mr Punchlines' Bennett. Voting on this round closes at 6pm on Thursday 17 June.

Group A results and Group B matches

Time to go over to the Redvers Kyle Stadium, Kirkstall Road, for the Group A results:

TVS glass revolve 3 Harlech eye test 12
Grampian saltire 9 TVS glass revolve 6
TVS glass revolve 6 BBC2 'Firecracker' 9
Harlech eye test 10 Grampian saltire 5
BBC2 'Firecracker' 8 Harlech eye test 7
Grampian saltire 8 BBC2 'Firecracker' 6

Three idents each won two games, bringing in 6 points, so we go to goal differences to break the tie and decide which two go ahead. Harlech is a clear winner, scoring 22 goals in winning games where its opponents managed 8, bringing a net figure of 14. BBC2 and Grampian each achieved 17 goals in the two games it won, but BBC2's opponents racked up 13 goals in those same games, compared to the 12 scored by Grampian's opponents, so Grampian joins Harlech in the knockout stage. So, Harlech will play the 2nd team to win Group B, while Grampian will take on that Group's winners.

Which brings us neatly on to the Group B matches:

Thames skyline vs ABC triangle
ABC triangle vs BBC Schools diamond
BBC Schools diamond vs Ulster oscilloscope on a stick
Ulster oscilloscope on a stick vs ABC triangle
BBC Schools diamond vs Thames skyline
Ulster oscilloscope on a stick vs Thames skyline

Voting will close at midnight BST on 15 June. You know the drill by now.

Idents World Cup - Group A gets underway

OK, more clips/stills to follow, but let's get this oil-burning pig on the road.

TVS glass revolve vs Harlech eye test
Grampian saltire vs TVS glass revolve
TVS glass revolve vs BBC2 'Firecracker'
Harlech eye test vs Grampian saltire
BBC2 'Firecracker' vs Harlech eye test
Grampian saltire vs BBC2 'Firecracker'

Is that everything covered? Scores for each game in comments, please. Each commenter can award 1 goal per game. Is midnight tonight BST late enough?

Idents World Cup - group draw results

Group A
TVS glass revolve
Harlech eye test
Grampian saltire
BBC2 1990s 2

Group B
Thames skyline
ABC triangle
BBC Schools diamond
Ulster oscilloscope on a stick

Group C
Southern star
LWT river
BBC1 COW
TSW tree of bras

Group D
BBC2 stripey
BBCtv Map
Channel 4 original
Rediffusion London

Group E
Channel 3 North East
Border chopsticks
Yorkshire Television colour production
ATV in colour


Group F
HTV aerial
Open University
Scottish Television spinning lion
BBC2 Colour 1967

Group G
Anglia knight
From the North – Granada
Central cake mark 1
Teledu Cymru dragon


Group H (vertically polarised)
BBC1 mirror globe
BBC TV bat wings
Westward galleon
Tyne Tees 1980s