Calling at Superin Junction, Gagging Order Halt...

Forget your Twitters. Cheeseford is the home of the real news about this 'superinjunction' shizzle that's going down in the high courts, with the A-listers all enlisting their learned friends to keep uncomfortable details of their private lives out of the red-top blatts. As I have an exemption from prosecution for defamation that I bought out of the back pages of Health and Efficiency for a tenner, I can blow the lid off. That's enough about my flatulence, though. Here's what the big names don't want you to know:

• T*d Rogers was f***ing D*sty B*n.
• L**d C***les went off the rails after the death of R*y Al*n, and began pimping T*ch and Qu*ckers in a M*yfair fl*t to feed his gin and quaalude habit.
• The B*C N******n D***e O******ra and the D******m G*rl P*pers - the details are too sordid even for this blog.
• Ch*rlton, with numerous Wh**lies, in his dressing room at C*sgrove-H*ll.
  
• That take 1 of the H*rry W*rth opening titles featured the comedian doing the wind*w trick st*rk b*ll*ck n*ked.
  
• The identity of the illegitimate offspring of the Y*rkshire T*levision ch*vr*n and the B*rder ch*psticks.
  
• B*lly D*inty and B*tty the T*a L*dy - Let's just say that I'll never watch EBC1 in the same way again.
• Al* B*ngo - the unconventional way in which he made things disappear, the cheeky scamp.

More as we have it. Cheeseford will not be cowed or silenced.